Updated: Dec 6, 2018
“So, Korie…did you find a boyfriend?”
Insert eye roll.
How many times did I get asked this at family gatherings?! Too many in my single years.
I was so relieved when I finally had a boyfriend that one Christmas. I had that “yes” answer my relatives were looking for.
So how should you answer the “boyfriend question” when it comes up this Christmas with family? I’ll give you five choices (even if they are silly):
1) If you have a boyfriend, you should probably answer honestly, ESPECIALLY if he’s there at the party.
You won’t be doing yourself any favors by saying he’s your “good friend” when you obviously have stars in your eyes. It will only make the relatives even more nosey.
2) You could make one up. I did it to enjoy the attention…even just for a minute ;)
His name was Pete and he was from Minnesota. Once again, I don’t advise this. It only draws more attention to either: A) The fact that you DON’T have a boyfriend (because you were a good Christian and fessed up to your little fib) or B) Now you have a fictitious boyfriend and are UNAVAILABLE for the guy they were gonna suggest that you absolutely just have to meet.
3) Say you don’t have a boyfriend and then start shedding big alligator tears.
I’d actually like to see this one performed. (Yes performed or acted with drama…of course I don’t want to see any of you cry over this!) I have a feeling the relatives would never ever ask you ever again, and you would be off the hook for the rest of your single-hood.
4) Say “no” but then go on to say all of your career achievements from the past 12 months and how you just bought a dog and how they must understand that having a dog is like having a kid (only cooler) and how you managed to master all of Dave Ramsey’s baby steps and that basically your worth is totally tied up in all. the. things. So there, Uncle John!
Out of all of my silly ideas, number four may be a bit more accurate than we want to admit. How often we feel the need to make up for our lack, in this case the lack of a significant other!
We see their curiosity as a threat to our worth and value as a person. As if not having a boyfriend says something is wrong with us!
Satan would sure like us to think so.
What if this Christmas held a different perspective for you? What if you could see this question not as a threat but as a way for your extended family and friends to start a conversation or genuinely show interest in you? They don’t mean any harm. Yes, some uncles will overly tease, but it’s because they care and aren’t quite sure what else to ask.
So here’s the fifth way to answer the “do you have a boyfriend” question...
5) Answer honestly and prophetically, with confidence: “Not yet.” Say it with a twinkle in your eye...it's like you're holding a secret close to the chest.
What’s the secret? You desire a significant other (like yes…please come soon boyfriend!) but the question doesn’t bother you. You are a secure person without a mate. Your worth and your value are not tied up in who you are with! The Lord will continue to show you this even after you are married.
If you could really hold on to this truth before you are ever married, girrrrrrllll! You are far ahead of the rest of us.
And just a heads up….the questions don’t stop.
Once you are dating, there are the questions: “So is he gonna pop the question soon?" "How serious is this?" "Do you think he is THE ONE?”
Once you are married: “When are you going to have my grandchildren!?”
Once you have two boys: “Are you gonna try for a girl?”
Once you have four kids like us: “Do you think you are done?”
Although for us it’s been more of “Do you think you’ll have more?” since we’ve had four kids rather quickly after being married.
The questions don’t stop. I’d say that’s a good thing. Your family cares and you get ample opportunities to remind yourself of your worth and value in Christ instead of in what (or who) you appear to be "lacking."
Your secure-in-Christ secret is safe with me.